Friday, March 26
Confessions of an Addict
Hello. My name is Carrie and I’m an addict.
What am I addicted to you ask?
Craft books. Learn how to write books. Plotting books.
There seems to be no stop, no end. No cure.
I, of course, totally blame Amazon. If it weren’t for the mega-million-dollar company, I’d have no place to fuel my addiction. The biggest bookstore around these parts is Wally World, and trust me, they don’t carry craft books.
Unless you’re wanting to cook like Rachel Ray, scream like Glenn Beck and Eat This, Not That.
I wanted to learn how to plot. So, I bought Plot and Structure, Plotting for Beginners, Break into Fiction. In a matter of days, they were delivered to my front door. Thanks Mr. UPS.
I decided to learn about POV – Mastering Point of View is there. What a stroke of luck.
I broadened my scope a bit, bought How to Write a Damn Good Novel, The Fundamentals of Fiction and The Fire in Fiction. Ooooohh….another delivery.
Holy cow. The brain synapses were sparking, the credit card was on fire.
Then, it’s possible, I went a little …umm..overboard. Learn how to write YA, children’s books, twelve kinds of how to write romance, how to be published, dummie books and even Tarot for Writing. What was I thinking? I’d totally lost control. I was hiding Amazon boxes in the mudroom, burying them under snow boots and parkas. Amazon invoices were tucked underneath couch pillows and in the pages of the Britannica Encyclopedia.
I needed intervention.
It came in the form of Old Man Winter and the surly UPS man.
Living on a farm, in Iowa, in winter makes travel and occasionally just getting out of the driveway an Act of God. This past winter, with record-breaking snows and wind, our quarter-mile long driveway narrowed down to just-barely-wide-enough-for-my-Chevy.
The UPS man hated me. So much so, that he called one morning and said he’d leave my package at the end of my driveway. So instead of waiting inside my nice warm home, I’d have to actually put on my arctic survival gear and go out and GET my books.
Suddenly buying books wasn’t as much fun. I had to think before I hit the “add to cart” button how badly I wanted the book. Bad enough to go outside? Bad enough to trudge a quarter mile in snow past my hips? Bad enough to have the UPS guy call and mock my snow scooping skills? Gulp.
Turns out I didn’t need any more books that badly. The addiction had ended. My credit card let out a gasp of relief, the UPS man let out a gasp of relief, and I won’t even begin to tell you about DH’s ecstatic dance around the living room Embarrassing.
So now I have my happy pile of books, and I can read up on any subject even remotely related to the art of writing. I have Tarot cards to play with on days when I get bored.
Only I’ve never gotten that bored. Yet.
So, if you have an addiction, there are ways to break it. Sometimes it takes strength of will, sometimes it takes intervention. Sometimes it takes the UPS guy.
However…..spring is here now. The driveway is clear. Birds are singing outside.
Maybe I’ll just stroll on past amazon.com and see if they have anything new to offer.
Sorry, Mr. UPS man.