A 3-Step Program to Deal with Rejection

After 15 years as an aerobics instructor, I’ve had my fair share of criticisms and rejection. There is nothing like people walking out of your class in a huff, participants telling you they just don’t like your music and choreography, or showing up at the gym to find out there is no one to take your class, to help you develop a very thick skin. Sometimes you just have to put on that smile and keep teaching.

There is one thing that doesn’t change though, no matter how long you been through this, it always hurts. And it’s the same thing with writing. There are a few steps I taught myself over the years with fitness that have been extremely useful in dealing with rejection and criticism in writing.

(1) Make a true honest assessment of the critique.

Try to find a time when you can take a deep breath and acknowledge that the critique is directed at your work, not you personally. Then try to see honestly if there is some truth in what the person is saying. It is not easy to be honest with ourselves, but in order to improve, we have to face our faults.

If we truly don’t agree with the critique, then it’s time to just let it roll off our back and move on. Let’s not deal on the why and who, just move on. We just can’t please everyone, sometimes people simply have a bad reading day and that’s all. Let’s just agree to disagree and learn not to dwell on it. Move on.

If the critique strikes a nerve however, we can’t move on just yet. We made an error, we can’t change what was done for this particular piece of work, submission, book, but we can learn so we don’t make the same mistake twice and that insure the next one will be better.

(2) Write it down and make a plan.

So we know now where we need improvement. What are we to do about it? We need to write it down to be really clear about what it is we need to work on. Write down the things that needs improvement and right there, make a commitment to improve your weak spots.

Then what? It is one thing to know what’s wrong, but we must act. Make a plan. Whether it is to sign up for a specialty online class, attend a workshop, reading other authors to see how they do things, it helps to sit down and make a plan on what step we will take to correct the weak stops.

(3) Let go and carry on.

Once you have been honest with yourself, assessed what needs to be done, and have a plan to improve, you can move on. Before you embark on your next journey to improve your writing, you need to be able to let go. That is why I like to write it down within a day or two of receiving the critique. I can now move on, enjoy the other aspects of my life without guilt, sadness or resentment knowing I have a plan to get better. Obsessing about a rejection for too long can waste a lot of the energy that would better serve us if we’d use it to write and improve our writing.

We all can grow from our mistakes. And if we can be big enough to recognize critiques and negative feedback as a chance for us to rise to the challenge and grow as a writer, we will become much happier and see that there is always hope.

No one is born a perfect writer, or perfect anything. But the quest for growth and improvement can be deeply satisfying. So instead of fearing critiques, feedback and reviews, let’s make them work for us.

And always, let’s strive to put them behind us as we move forward!

I’d like to giveaway a signed copy of ANCIENT WHISPERS to a commenter. So tell me, do you have any tricks to move past rejection? Have you ever learn from any negative feedback? Please share with me.
--------------------------------------
Marie-Claude Bourque is the American Title V winner and author of ANCIENT WHISPERS, a sensual gothic paranormal romance filled with sorcerers and Celtic priestesses in search for eternal love in modern time. She worked as a climate research scientist, a scientific translator and a fitness expert until she turned to fiction writing. She draws her inspiration from the French legends of her childhood and a fascination for dark fantasy. ANCIENT WHISPERS, a Dorchester –Love Spell release is available now wherever books are sold. Find more at www.mcbourque.com and don’t forget to enter the contest for her month-long virtual release party at www.mcbourque.com/launchparty