Tuesday, January 25

Rejected? Not me!

Bleeding Heart.
The flower, not me, you sillies!
Okay, all kidding aside, this weeks topic is how to deal with rejection.
It's tough. I'm not going to lie about it. Nobody likes being told their manuscript isn't good enough, or not ready.
I don't like it one bit.
I get sick to death of it, actually.
But they way I deal with it has changed drastically over the years. Used to be I'd cry, wail, beat my chest. Okay, maybe not that extreme, but I definitely took it hard. It used to make me doubt myself to the point I'd freeze up. Almost quit.
I have a drawer full of rejections. A lot of them are "good" rejections. Notes from editors and agents, but they're rejections nonetheless.
How do I handle them now?
I still feel awful. I let myself mope for a bit. I tell the CPs. My daughter Brandi always makes me laugh about it.
But the ultimate reaction I have is to get more determined. I dig in, get tough. Not going to give up because of a no. I look at the manuscript, see what I can do to it to make it better. Sometimes I move on, decide to leave it behind.
But I don't quit, and that's the ultimate way how I deal with rejection.


  1. I know exactly how you feel. :) But I've found the best cure for rejection is to keep busy. It's the only thing that works for me.

  2. After collecting my own stack (one virtual, one paper) stack of rejections, I'd become a real pro at snarky comebacks to whatever the "R" had to say.

    Now I'm on the other side of the rejection--the one sending it, and let me tell ya, I think they hurt me more now than they did when I was the recipient. Particularly if it's an author I've already edited for.

    It just sucks.

    But I can only hope my authors have your determination and keep on keepin' on!

  3. Okay, this is gonna sound a little bit kwazie, but I'm kind of hoping for a rejection. I'm sick and tired of always writing and never sumbitting. So my goal for February is to join the ranks of the rejected. Then I can find ways to bring myself out of it too.

  4. LOL, I'm with A.R. I have no rejections only because I haven't submitted yet--but I'm hoping to change that real soon.
    I'm sure it won't take me long to get sick and tired of the rejections piling in, lol.

  5. Nobody likes to be told 'no'. But I have the motto different strokes for different folks...not everyone is gonna like my stuff and I fully expect to be rejected, listening to other writer's stories has made very clear to me. If and when I do decide to venture out I'll keep all those rejections and email them pretty woman style when I get a book deal...hehe...my hurdle was getting over myself and believing I had a knack for this

  6. ...and that is exactly what you have to do to reach the goal: don't give up, don't quit. I have no idea who said it, but the line is that being an author is about 15% talent, 15% luck and 70% perserverance.

  7. It's hard being a writer. Shoot it's hard just reaching for those stars. Singers, doctors, actors... everyone has to deal with rejection at some point. It's all in how to deal with it. And yes, we're human so I think no matter how many rejections you get, it sting can sting.
    I find diving into another project while getting feedback is what keeps me sane. If I was just waiting and waiting and not keeping busy I would go crazy.
    Great post, D'Ann.
    Here is an encouragemnt page I made up for those who are going through the process. Hope it helps! http://www.martzbookz.com/encouragement.htm

  8. You know its funny. I never went through the crying phase. I've received several rejections and even from the first, I just shrug it off and push through. Keep querying, etc. I'll let my awesome writer friends know because having a support team helps, I tell my fiance who tells me I'll get it next time. I might have a glass of wine and soak in the tub for the evening. My issue I find is with form rejections, I want to know why you know? And aside from that it's still not really the rejections, it's being over my story, tired of having to constantly edit because it's still not strong enough. At that point I usually put the story away for a while and even stop querying and start something new or spend a few weeks reading for myself. It honestly surprised me how easily I take the rejection.

  9. Getting rejected by a pub is like the dating game. I see what I want and take the risk only to find out we don't fit well together. Nothing personal, just the way it is.

    Using that concept, I keep my emotions in check when I sub a story - Hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

    When the worst happens, I channel the energy into a new possible publisher relationship, saving the emotional investment until one day I wiil find the real thing.

  10. I'd crap little green apples if anyone asked me for a partial or full. I'm so used to rejections, they're almost like my new little friend. Yet I bang my head against the keyboard and send out another invite to reject yet again. :) One of these days, green apples will appear.

  11. D'Ann,

    I could easily paper my home with rejections, but I don't. The good news is that it's made me appreciate acceptances all the more. And there have been a good number of those as well. Just like you, I don't quit, just try a little harder, write a little better.

    Jacqueline Seewald
    TEA LEAVES AND TAROT CARDS, adult romance
    STACY'S SONG, YA coming of age novel

  12. When I first began writing, a reject letter was like telling me, "Who do you think you are? You're not a writer!" But, I've learned not to let it get me down. Oh, I'm not saying I'm not disappointed, but I'm not devasted either. The best lesson I learned was being a judge. Suddenly, I saw how subjective acceptance/winning contests truly was. It's all a matter of finding that editor/publisher/contest judge that likes what you wrote. And that's not rejection at all. That's selection.

  13. I don't think rejection gets easier. That's what sucks. But not giving up is the key. Sigh.

  14. Never give up, never surrender.

    Keep on submitting, someday your agent/editor will call and then we celebrate.

  15. D'Ann,
    I know rejection sucks, but you hit the nail on the head. NEVER give up.

  16. I have to say I wasn't surprised when I received my rejection letter lo. But it was a nice one and I would have been in ICU with heart failure had it said accepted. I knew the story wasn't ready but I was urged to submit it anyway so I did. I won a contest and the editor requested a partial.

  17. Thank you, everyone, for coming by. I appreciate it. Don't give up, only quitters quit.

  18. Lovely story, D'Ann, and since I just received a rejection, I need to hear the message again.
    I think that baby is blessed to find a home with such a wise and caring famiy.