The last few weeks have been pretty tough. Three weeks ago on Wednesday, I lost my beloved little cat, Tangerine. I won't go through all the painful details again, but it was gut-wrenching. He was with us for over ten years, and much loved. If you want to know more, read my tribute to him, two Fridays past.
|Tangerine with PK|
My dad pastures my horses in the summer months. It's cooler up country, and he has more feed than I do. Yesterday, my dad called with the said news my little horse, Flash, died in the night.
He was old, 31. He seemed to be in good health. He just laid down and died. If I had to lose him, this is the way I'd wish him to go. But my heart is heavy. It'll hurt to look out in the corral and not see his wild mane that never would lay right. He had one blue eye, which made him always look playful... and he was. He could get out of any fence known to man. He only stayed in if he wanted to. Two of my nephews rode him during their 4-H years, and won ribbons, trophies and buckles by the trunk load on him. I'll miss him.
So, how to cope with all this grief? I struggle with depression. It's a black hole, always waiting to suck me in and swallow me whole. I have to fight it with everything I've got. Sometimes are easier than others. Writing helps. I write suspense, and sometimes the stories get dark. If I'm not careful, they can get really grim. I'm working on a piece where the heroine has suffered the greatest loss. I don't know if it'll ever see publication. I don't know if I want it to. But right now, it's helping a little.
Anyone out there know how to get back into the light? I'm listening.