When Do You Just Give Up?

 I've never been one of those writers who sends out mass queries--I'm more of a small batch girl. I usually research and send queries to agents who actually might be interested in what I'm offering.

And that seems to have worked pretty well for me with Bix. I've had a 2-1 ratio for requests. For every two rejections, I've gotten a request. That's pretty good odds in the life of submission.

So, recently I had two full requests come back as rejections with the same kiss of death comment: Bix starts out as YA but slips into Middle Grade. Seriously, death note. Because the agent can't market a book that doesn't have a clear market.

This was my eighth revision. Eight.And the idea of going back simply exhausts me. Seriously. As much as I love the boy, I have a physical reaction at the thought of doing another rewrite.

 I think if I took all the versions I have of this book and the deleted scenes, I have written close to 300,000 words on Bix. And it's taken four years of my life to get to this point. 

Sure, I know in the George R.R. Martin scheme of things that's a blink of an eye. But George has the luxury of knowing that his book will be published. And promoted, and promoted, and promoted...

When I think of giving up on Bix, my heart breaks a little. A LOT. I believe in him. I believe in his story. I believe in me.

So, what to do?

Yesterday, I took my manuscript Pages Of Life--not a Bix story, not even a Young Adult story--out of a file, dusted it off, and wrote 1,500 words.

I love this story. In my file, I found a couple of scenes I didn't even remember writing. And they're good. I plan to try and churn out about 1,500+ words a day until Monday when I go to work.

If I do that, I will have about a quarter-a third of the book written. And if i work on this book--and only this book--I could have it done by the end of fall. I could have a first draft done on something besides Bix.

Plus, I still have a full out with one last agent. I guess her response will help me decide what to do with Bix.

For now, though, I'm taking a Bix break.