In the novel Rebecca,
Daphne du Maurier wrote, “Happiness is not a possession to be prized, it is a
quality of thought, a state of mind.” Abraham Lincoln said that most people are
as happy as they choose to be.
Happiness as a choice. What an interesting concept. So many
times I’ve thought that I would finally be completely happy if only… and you
can fill in the blank with the desire of your choice. The blank was filled in differently
at different times of my life. If only I could get that scholarship. If only I
could get married. If only I could get pregnant. If only I had another child.
If only we had a lake cottage. If only I were published. If only my books would
sell a million copies. If only…
Last year, my “if onlys” were about other people in my life.
If only David hadn’t died, I’d be happy. If only Dee wasn’t suffering and
having to do chemo each week. If only CL hadn't developed breast cancer. If only my sister Kate hadn’t been diagnosed with
cancer… and ultimately, if only Kate hadn’t died. Life has been hard these past few months. Sometimes it feels almost as if
I’ll never be truly happy again.
But I know I will be. David and Kate will be so sad up there
in heaven if I allow their passing keep me from choosing to be happy. Dee loves
me and wants me to be happy—she’d be distressed if she believed that her illness
interfered with my happiness. And there is much in my life to be happy about--CL is doing just fine, visits and Skypes with Grandboy, Son, and DIL, Husband enjoying being retired, good times with dear friends, good wine and delicious food, swimming, the lake, interesting work to do, and always, always, writing.
I remember a line from Steel
Magnolias, where Dolly Parton says, “Laughter through tears is my favorite
emotion.” I need to practice that… laughter through tears. Joy through sorrow.
Choosing happiness. Look. See? I can do it... I believe I will.
Happy—that’s my word for 2015.
I love this picture of you and Jim, and I think Happy is a great word--one you will be able to achieve!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Liz...I know you and I will have lots of happy times this year...and always, really! ;-)
DeleteI love it, Nan!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kristi!
DeleteHappiness is a wonderful word! I hope you have many happy times in 2015, Nan!
ReplyDeleteMerci, Chrys and so glad you stopped by!
DeleteYes. I believe that happiness is a state of mind. You're doing all of the right things toward regaining a happier state of mind and that is evident in the gratitude you're showing in this post. Being grateful for what we have, for past experiences we've had, for fond memories, is the only way. At least for me ;) Here's to a happy 2015 for you, Nan!
ReplyDeleteAnd here's to a happy 2015 for you, too, Roben! Wish we were in the same room with a bottle of wine between us! Thank you for coming by!
DeleteOh, Liz. My heart goes out to you. Robert Frost said, "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."
ReplyDeleteEven when you don't think it can.
So it does go on, Joan, thank you! Very happy you stopped by!
DeleteTo quote Rumi, a medieval Persian poet and Sufi mystic:
ReplyDelete“Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place.”
I have a feeling that your "joy" is just around the corner. ((((HUGS)))
BTW, I absolutely LOVE that picture of you and your hubby!
DeleteOMG--Cheryl--I love that quote!
DeleteSO, Nan, ditto what she said. Everything. Hugs and all :)
Wow, that was a great quote -- and a wonderful, inspiring post. Wishing you boundless "Happy" this year and beyond.
ReplyDelete