This weekend we attended the fiftieth wedding anniversary
celebration of one of our favorite couples. It was delightful! Not a fancy
affair, but a cozy party full of good food, plenty of wine and beer, and lots
of great fellowship. We made a couple of new friends there and enjoyed the
company of lots of old ones as we celebrated this extraordinary achievement.
I spent some time watching the anniversary couple as they
mingled—sometimes together laughing and hugging new arrivals and sometimes
separate as they chatted with guests on opposite sides of the big room. But even
as they both played the venue, making sure guests had beverages, dinner
companions, and huge plates of fried chicken and potato salad, they were
connected. A subtle touch of fingers as they passed one another behind a noisy
table or a quick, knowing glance shared across the banquet hall. Their intimacy
was evident even when they weren’t standing side by side. And it always is --they know one another, anticipate each other's needs, finish each other's thoughts, sense when something isn't quite right. They are what my mom would have called "good and married."
Naturally enough, the whole event got me thinking about
romance and what makes a real happily-ever-after. We romance writers build up
the sexual tension, create characters bigger than life, and craft situations and conflict
that seem insurmountable before we finally let our hero and heroine end up happy. It's what makes a romance novel...well, a romance novel. But after you close the book, do you wonder at all if that love will last—for a year or five
or ten...or fifty?
Why don’t we write about couples like my friends, who’ve
shared fifty years together, raised two children, had struggles and joys and
sorrows, but held on tight to each other through it all? Why isn’t a fifty-year
commitment considered as romantic and sexy as two college grads hitting the
sack for the first time? Isn’t it about time we writers took a look at those
long relationships, asked what makes them work in a world where 50 percent of
marriages end in divorce?
And isn’t it about time we create characters who’ve stayed,
who’ve struggled together through diapers and teething and toddlerdom and braces
and those nasty teenage years? Couples who found the magic of
happily-ever-after and never lost it. Or even couples who thought they misplaced
it among the chaos and frustrations of ordinary life and yet found it again. Aren’t
those stories worth telling? Because honestly, staying in love with the same
person for fifty damn years is romantic as hell, mes amies.
Absolutely!
ReplyDeleteI sorta had a feeling you'd concur, Liz! Thanks for coming by! <>
ReplyDeleteIt is! My parents were married 48 years when my dad passed away. And I love to look at pictures where my dad is always looking at my mom with such love in his eyes.
ReplyDeleteI think the reason those books aren't written have to do with the level of conflict. Let's face it, a lot of romance books out there could be resolved with a simple conversation between the leads. If you've been happily married for over fifty years, communication probably is not your problem.
So, your challenge is to find a conflict that a couple married fifty years would go through and sustain a romance novel.
Fun post! Might be a tough sale, though:) After 50 years, a lot of the misunderstandings and conflicts have been ironed out.
ReplyDelete