The Wrangler
gals have put together quite a striking list of memorable days in their lives!
I struggled
with this week’s theme, partially because so many of my memorable days are
either unpleasant or bittersweet, but mostly because I’m horrible with dates.
Case in point: my wedding anniversary is written in my old-school paper
organizer affectionately called “my brain,” and I still forgot it one year. To
make matters worse, hubby did not
forget it. Fortunately, he’s a really great guy and doesn’t hold it against me.
With
regards to this blog post, I finally chose five memorable events in my life (not dates),
and hope they aren’t too morbid. Here goes, in no particular order:
The day I
cut my biological mom from my life. I was sixteen (going on twenty-six, in my
own eyes) and needed to be free of her negative influence. It set a powerful
precedent which allowed me to similarly cut my step-mother out of my life a few
years ago for the same reason. I wish I could say both decisions were easy and
free of guilt, self-doubt, and repercussions. But both moments were ultimately
in my best interest. And most definitely memorable!
The day(s) my
kiddos were born. Becoming a mother was a pivotal point in life for me. I was forced
to take a long hard look at everything I’d been raised to believe in and hold
dear, to take a long hard look at the influence and “styles” of my own parental
figures—the good, the bad, and the ugly--and determine the type of parent I was
going to be. Essentially, I was forced to stop being merely a mouthpiece for my
beliefs and values, and to embody them so I could raise my children to be [healthy
and emotionally stable] grown ups.
The day I
decided to be a writer. I’ve always had outlets for my creativity. But the day
I decided to pick up my childhood habit of creative writing is a day part of my
soul fell into place. Like a puzzle piece which doesn’t seem to fit until you
get the angle and the pressure just right, and tah-dah! it slips right into place like it had been there all
along.
The day I
joined IRWA. Before this moment, I didn’t know what I didn’t know where my
writing was concerned. Since then, with the generous guidance and encouragement
from many fabulous fellow-writers, I’ve grown both as a writer and as a person.
There is not enough space or time to express what an uplifting and positive influence
this group is for each other!
The day I
realized flatulence is funny. It’s the day I learned to laugh at myself. If you
take yourself too seriously, karma is gonna push out a barking spider in the
middle of church prayer. Flatulence is something we all experience. And I
realized that if I spent my life praying for sphincter power so I could control
my body’s natural functions, then I was not in control of my life… the air biscuit
was.
That said,
let me know your most memorable, life-changing events… and I wish you an
S.B.D.-free weekend!
Can I just say that I love your Darth Parenting meme? Because..DARTH! :) Great post, Ava, thanks for sharing your memories!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kristi. I imagine I'll have a Darth-like conversation with my children sometime in the future and they'll be all "NOOOO! You're NOT my mother!!!" :-)
DeleteI love your Darth meme! And I love your bravery to cut out the negativeness--especially because it was family. I have cut out some negative friends just because being around negative people is so exhausting. But, they weren't family.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Margie. I sometimes think cutting out family is the coward's-way-out... it's easy to be brave in a vacuum. But to hold one's own against the constant assault from others(especially those who are supposed to love and support you) is truly brave.
DeleteI don't know, Ava--I think you've done the brave thing, and probably saved not only yourself but your kids some pain. Not to mention, you talked about flatulence!
ReplyDeleteA great post, as usual.