Friday, January 22

Thanks for the memories!

The Wrangler gals have put together quite a striking list of memorable days in their lives!

I struggled with this week’s theme, partially because so many of my memorable days are either unpleasant or bittersweet, but mostly because I’m horrible with dates. Case in point: my wedding anniversary is written in my old-school paper organizer affectionately called “my brain,” and I still forgot it one year. To make matters worse, hubby did not forget it. Fortunately, he’s a really great guy and doesn’t hold it against me.

With regards to this blog post, I finally chose five memorable events in my life (not dates), and hope they aren’t too morbid. Here goes, in no particular order:

The day I cut my biological mom from my life. I was sixteen (going on twenty-six, in my own eyes) and needed to be free of her negative influence. It set a powerful precedent which allowed me to similarly cut my step-mother out of my life a few years ago for the same reason. I wish I could say both decisions were easy and free of guilt, self-doubt, and repercussions. But both moments were ultimately in my best interest. And most definitely memorable!

The day(s) my kiddos were born. Becoming a mother was a pivotal point in life for me. I was forced to take a long hard look at everything I’d been raised to believe in and hold dear, to take a long hard look at the influence and “styles” of my own parental figures—the good, the bad, and the ugly--and determine the type of parent I was going to be. Essentially, I was forced to stop being merely a mouthpiece for my beliefs and values, and to embody them so I could raise my children to be [healthy and emotionally stable] grown ups.

The day I decided to be a writer. I’ve always had outlets for my creativity. But the day I decided to pick up my childhood habit of creative writing is a day part of my soul fell into place. Like a puzzle piece which doesn’t seem to fit until you get the angle and the pressure just right, and tah-dah! it slips right into place like it had been there all along.

The day I joined IRWA. Before this moment, I didn’t know what I didn’t know where my writing was concerned. Since then, with the generous guidance and encouragement from many fabulous fellow-writers, I’ve grown both as a writer and as a person. There is not enough space or time to express what an uplifting and positive influence this group is for each other!

The day I realized flatulence is funny. It’s the day I learned to laugh at myself. If you take yourself too seriously, karma is gonna push out a barking spider in the middle of church prayer. Flatulence is something we all experience. And I realized that if I spent my life praying for sphincter power so I could control my body’s natural functions, then I was not in control of my life… the air biscuit was.

That said, let me know your most memorable, life-changing events… and I wish you an S.B.D.-free weekend!


  1. Can I just say that I love your Darth Parenting meme? Because..DARTH! :) Great post, Ava, thanks for sharing your memories!

    1. Thanks, Kristi. I imagine I'll have a Darth-like conversation with my children sometime in the future and they'll be all "NOOOO! You're NOT my mother!!!" :-)

  2. I love your Darth meme! And I love your bravery to cut out the negativeness--especially because it was family. I have cut out some negative friends just because being around negative people is so exhausting. But, they weren't family.

    1. Thanks, Margie. I sometimes think cutting out family is the coward's-way-out... it's easy to be brave in a vacuum. But to hold one's own against the constant assault from others(especially those who are supposed to love and support you) is truly brave.

  3. I don't know, Ava--I think you've done the brave thing, and probably saved not only yourself but your kids some pain. Not to mention, you talked about flatulence!

    A great post, as usual.