Over at nanreinhardt.com, I’ve been talking about letting
stuff go—mostly letting the knot in my stomach go. Here’s the thing, I’ve had
this knot inside me for the better part of two years, maybe longer and I
decided I was going to give the damn thing up for Lent. I had big plans to
release all the stress and worry that has dogged me since my friend, Dee, was
diagnosed with terminal cancer three years ago.
Easier said than done. Now, don’t panic. I’m not going to
lie down on the virtual couch and detail all my worries here in the round pen,
but I am going to talk a little about the writing knot because part of the
stress I carry around inside me is about my career as a writer.
It seems as if ever since I sent that first manuscript to an
agent back in 2009, my writing has been alternately a source of untold joy and
wrenching distress. When I’m actually doing it, tucking into a story that’s
been banging around in my head, I’m full of joy. Writing—the actual act of
creating a story and bringing it to life—makes me happy in a way that nothing
else in my life does. I love inventing dialogue, building characters, setting
scenes, dreaming up conflict and resolutions. I write when I clean, when I
drive (but I pay attention to the road, honest!), when I fly, when I can’t go
to sleep—the writer is always busy, observing, memorizing, inventing. For years, I did
this without a thought to selling a book or ever seeing one
published.
But, once you’ve put your work out there, there is a
constant feeling of pressure to perform—butt-in-chair-hands-on-keyboard—as I’ve
discussed here before. Know what? Some days, I flat don’t want to write or I
have editing gigs that must take priority over my own writing or life stuff
gets in the way. Retired husband means that we’re together more and often,
doing something with him appeals way more than sitting in front of my computer,
even though I do love to write.
And then there’s the book sales thing . . . yeah, there’s
that. I have one traditionally published novel, but the other three are indie,
which means I do all the work. I
write them, I find an editor (fortunately, I’ve got a great one in Lani DianeRich, who also does my covers), I find a print formatter, I put them up at the
various retail outlets, I do all the promotion. I find the blogs who’ll give me
a day to shout out about my newest book, I send them to reviewers, I watch the
sales dashboards and either weep or rejoice, depending on how things have gone—or
not—as the case may be. I have to arrange for or find book signings. I have to design
and buy swag, I . . . well, you get the picture.
When I first started writing, none of this stuff occurred to
me—I just wanted to be a storyteller. But this year so far, I haven’t done much
storytelling. Instead, I’ve been working hard at editing gigs, earning money to
buy promotional materials for my books and do all the other stuff involved in producing a book . . .books, as well as
to pay for my health insurance, which is another blog topic altogether. And all
of this stuff—the detritus of being an indie author . . . of being any kind of
an author at all really, does tighten the knot.
So, talk to me, authors. Do you stress over sales? Over
promotion? Over whether or not you need a 7-foot banner or a simple 16-x-20
poster for your table at book signings, all the while wondering how the hell
you’re going to pay for pens, rack cards, banners, magnets, and other swag if
you’re not selling enough books? How do you make it work? How do you keep the
writer knot under control?
Giving up potato chips was easier. :-) We all know my points of stress, so I won't go into them. I know from working on my taxes this week (did I say stress?) that even though I made more money this year (a little) I spent a lot more on promotion, so that was a wash. No answers from this corner, but keep untying the knot!
ReplyDeleteI don't have any great answers, either, Nan, because I stress about this stuff much more than I should, and when I'm stressed I don't enjoy...any of it. Not the writing, definitely not the editing, not the promotion, not even talking to my writer friends. I'm working on protecting my joy in the writing part, and trying to block out the stress that comes with putting another book out...I'll let you know how it goes. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI have no answers--haven't hit that point yet in my career. But, good luck and good post :)
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Nan. I'm still in the writer Honeymoon phase, so I don't have an answer either. :-)
ReplyDelete