|Not my nails... Wish they were!|
Then I happened to glance at my hands while doing some mundane task at work. What a pleasant surprise to see that my fingernails were lovely and long! Not picture-worthy, so don’t expect any hand glamor-shots from me. But, within the scope of my nail history, they looked good. That may not seem like a big deal, but I’ve struggled with my nails since, well, the whole year.
Last year’s Christmas season was so busy and harried, and I helped several sales reps stock product in stores, that my nails really took a beating. Some were ripped, others just weakened and split. They were all fairly on the fugly side, and I have spent these past several months trimming my nails back to the quick to stem the tide of cracking and splitting. I even took daily vitamin gummies aimed to improve nail and hair growth (gummies which, interestingly enough, were recently recalled. Hmmm…). My frustration skyrocketed and I assumed I’d never have nice nails again.
Until I looked at them this week and realized they are doing great, and I haven’t even had to futz with them in a while. Funny how all that worry and struggle and manipulation was either unnecessary or just took time to take effect.
Then I realized how much my nail battle parallels my struggle as a writer. As a human being, even. Every day seems like an uphill battle (and often a losing one!). I struggle and wrestle… my ideas, my craft, my own demons… until my frustration skyrockets and I assume nothing is ever going to go my way again.
At a point in time, a lightbulb appears above my head. I pause for a moment, remembering my recent agita and suddenly sensing its noticeable absence. When did it go away? A minute ago? A week ago? Is it really gone or am I just immune to its stress? Whatever the answer, the point is that, if only for a short while, that particular battle is on hiatus. Wish I could say it was over, but I doubt that is ever truly the case.
It’s is an awesome feeling, though. The relief and euphoria which comes from understanding that, at this particular moment, I don’t have to fight this particular battle. I can allocate that energy to another concurrent battle (‘cuz writing and life are just a bunch of spinning plates we have to keep from crashing down).
Or I can just take a deep breath and enjoy the moment. And maybe even go get a manicure!