Friday, July 1

Lessons from a Crummy Week

I’ve had a crummy week. Not anything horrible or devastating or irreparable. Just… crummy. And while I hate to write a downer blog, especially since my assigned day is Friday and Fridays should always end on a positive note, I apologize if my post seems crabby. Not that they have much to do with writing (oh, I’m sure I could make a connection… I’ve done so with far more obscure topics!), but these are the prevalent themes of my life this week:

Karma is not my friend. I try to be the nice and considerate driver. I let people into my lane even when they selfishly flew past the line in the other lane until the last possible moment to get over. I don’t honk until several seconds have passed when someone neglects to notice the light has turned green. And yet, when it’s my turn to call on common courtesy, I get none. Like when my car broke down immediately after a turn at a light and I had a curb on my left side and passing traffic on my right. I flicked on my hazards and looked for an opportunity to pull over, and yet the car behind me still LAYED ON ITS HORN as if that would cause my car to fix itself. So, while I bite back my annoyance at other drivers, I get none of that consideration in return.

Our choices in life ripple with consequences. I cut a mother-figure from my life a few years ago when I realized she was a manipulative, emotionally abusive person who loved money and the sense of power and importance it brought her more than she truly loved me. My life without her has been a hundred-times happier. Unfortunately, my father was and is still married to her. Either because of his own wishes or her manipulation, my relationship with him has been irreparably damaged to the point that our only, very infrequent, communication centers on my children/his grandchildren. Would I make a different choice, if I had to do it over again? No. Do I regret the resulting carnage to my relationship with my father? Yes, and never more so that this past Father’s Day when I realized part of me is still daddy’s little girl looking for his approval which I know I’ll never get.

Fabio still sells. I got the first draft of the cover for my upcoming “Love and the Corps” from the artist, and had a face-palm moment. Between my choice of square-jawed, bold-browed, sexy-smirking model and the artist’s choice of windswept gold locks, the cover has a very space-age Fabio-esque look to it. I’ve shown it to a few people, thinking we could all get a good laugh at the similarity (even hubby thought it looked like “that guy from the butter commercial”), which we did. But not until after the ladies wagged their eyebrows and made lewd yummy sounds. So, even though my cover at the moment looks like an ’80s bodice-ripper of a romance novel, it still piques the interest. Who knew? (BTW, did I get my apostrophe correct, Nan? ;-)

Time with the kiddos is precious. As you read this, I’m taking a vacation day to spend at an amusement park with the kiddos and hubby, riding roller coasters and having a family-centric offline kind of a day. Which means I get to end my crummy week on a fun note, so it's all good. I’m sure most of my kiddos' childhood memories will be of me barking orders to “do your chores,” “put on deodorant,” “stop teasing the cats,” “don’t be a selfish jerk,” etc. But I hope they will also remember the times we were able to step away from our lives and just be with each other. Every day time is too filled with the things that have to get done, for all of us. But a day where we all pull our noses out of our electronic devices and laugh and tease and scream our heads off as we whoosh down that first coaster hill is special. And I hope hubby and I can offer up enough of those to balance out all the days of mundane sameness!

Well, that’s pretty much my week. Hope your week was better! If so, please tell me about it (but I won't get to read it until Saturday. Cuz I'm riding roller coasters today. WEEEEEEE! :-)

3 comments:

  1. I'm sorry you had a crummy week, Ava. ((hugs)) and enjoy the park!

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  2. I'm sorry it was a crummy week (especially the car thing--I HATE that), but you took some good positives from it. I know, Pollyanna striking again, but roller coasters with the family is about as good as it gets.

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  3. So sorry your week sucked, sweets. Drivers are getting ruder because everyone seems to be in a freaking hurry. Do not understand why. Hope your car is back up to speed (hehe). And yes, one day, you and I will have a long talk about fathers and the women they love and how that affects their daughters... just stay true to yourself and keep the positive going. By the way, your apostrophe is right on, baby!

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