Monday, November 14

Come back, Pollyanna!

Apologies ahead of the time for however this post comes out. I'm just not up for it. Nan and I were coming home from a truly fun writers' retreat today--it's Sunday--and I was bitching up a storm. I told her I had a blog post brewing, which I've discovered I don't, but the one thing I said that stuck with me is that "the rat bastards have killed Pollyanna."

I'm not going to get overtly political here, although there is a big part of me that wants to. I want to rant and rail and shout recriminations. On the other side of that coin I want to stop crying and complaining and feeling bruised right to my marrow by all the hurt. I'm doing 30 Days of Gratitude on Facebook and struggling--for the first time in my adult life since Nine Eleven--to find gratitude.

We have talked about anger, of which I have too much right now. We've talked about anguish. About fear. About what we can do to change things. To make things better for people who suffer. About how love can survive when there is so much hate.

I have learned, when I am 66, that I don't know anything.

Deep breath.

Hi, I'm Liz Flaherty. I'm a mom, a nana, a wife, a writer. I love the Lord, my country, cats, and Diet Cherry Coke. My grandkids--the Magnificent Seven--their parents, and their grandfather are the reason I get up every day. They are my heart. They are healthy.

And of course I know something. Of course I do. I know I can't help everyone but I can help some--that's why I volunteer. I know love is much stronger than hate--remember that family I mentioned up there? The fact that they (and I) are healthy--oh, hell, gratitude's easy. I can't change much, but I can change me; it certainly won't be the first time. Because, like I said, I'm 66--you don't get to be this old without learning to change yourself. I've known anger and anguish before--Nine Eleven, Vietnam, and three assassinations of men I admired come to mind.

But I've never been afraid. And I'm not going to be now. So, yes. Another deep breath. Pollyanna's alive and well, and she's not giving up.

Have a great week.




13 comments:

  1. Welcome back, Pollyanna--good to see you! I'm so with you on everything you've said here. I can only remember one other time in my (ahem) 63 years that I've had this cold, cold in the pit of my stomach about the state of our nation, and that was when I first understood the power of nuclear weapons. I was maybe 10 or so--I spent nearly a month having a hard time falling asleep at night because I was sure war was imminent. But you are right--we both have lots of reasons--most of them similar--to be grateful. So no fear--let's focus on the good in our lives, those grandkids, spouses, writing, our great country, and good, dear friends . . . we can do this. We can so do this. ((hugs))

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    1. Thanks, Nan. I was frightened during a crisis--something to do with Laos--because my brother was on a ship somewhere "over there," and I wouldn't watch the news the whole time Duane was in Vietnam. However, I have to admit, those fears were when I was young--I didn't see much beyond myself and what was going to change MY life. (Squirming when I admit that.)

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  2. (((hugs))), Liz...I'm right where you are.

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    1. Thanks, Kristi. At least it's not a lonely place, is it? :-(

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  3. Thanks, I needed that! The bad feeling in my gut becomes manageable when I remember that I am not alone. Continuing to change myself and being about love are my goals. Hugs to you!

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    1. Thank you, Angie. It definitely helps not being alone in this peculiar place. And hugs right back atcha!

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  4. This is indeed trying times for the Pollyanna in all of us. I'm so tired of the warring factions and the angry diatribe. I fear that our--I can't even begin to call him our President Elect without cringing all over--opened Pandora's box of racism and bigotry and even if he wanted, which I'm doubtful, even he can't stop the flow.

    I'm so afraid that it's going to get worse before it gets better. And his cabinet choices are bearing that out..

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    1. For the liberals among us, it's like watching a train wreck in horribly slow motion.

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  5. I feel your anger, Liz. I can forgive many things, but stirring up the crazies, racists, and bigots is unforgivable. I keep hoping I'll wake up and the election will only have been a bad dream. Kinda makes me envy Rip Van Winkle...

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    1. Me, too, Cheryl. It's still so hard to believe.

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  6. Liz, I'm so sorry you're struggling. As a Canadian, the election results don't have a direct affect on me. Except they do. What happens in the U.S. has a profound affect on Canada and the rest of the world. At the moment, I'm trying to remain positive and hope that calm, cool and intelligent heads prevail everywhere.

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    1. Thanks, Jana. It's sure been a rough week.

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