I made a goal to finish my current wip, Son of a (hired) gun, by May 1.
You know what's happened since then? I haven't written a word. My goal this week was to finish chapter 7 and begin chapter 8. And I've written nothing. I've opened up the file, stared at what I last wrote, and then checked my email.
Yesterday, on my day off, I went to a movie with my daughter. It's Complicated. Two big thumbs up from us. Today on my second day off, I went to lunch with friends I haven't seen in months, bought my daughter's birthday dinner, browsed Barnes and Noble, and didn't write.
I'm starting to wonder if making the goal and putting the pressure on myself has had the opposite effect that I wanted it to. Am I self-defeatest? I know I am the world's best procrastinator--hence the always late Thursday post. But, do I also not want success or am I afraid of the rejection. I can say now that the reason I'm not published or repped is because I don't have a marketable project. But if I finish this wip--which most of the people who've read parts of it, believe it will be marketable---what excuse do I have when I can't get repped?
Why is the dream of finished, marketable novel so elusive?