Friday, October 26

Is Chivalry Dead?

A few years ago, I drove my car into a ditch. Luckily, I wasn't hurt, just shaken up a bit.  It took a minute for me to calm down, and while I was sitting there stunned behind the wheel, two women came to the car to check to make sure I was alright. I assured the women that I was fine, got out of the car, and called hubby. I sat on the hood of my car and waited. Several women stopped to make sure I didn't need any help. Guess how many men stopped.  None.  Zero.  Zilch. Oh sure, they slowed down long enough to gawk at the Mustang in the ditch, then kept going.

            Men who open doors for women? Other than hubby, I haven't seen that in a while. Pulling out a lady's chair? Hell, half the time we can't even find a seat because the men have them. Two days ago, I was in an office with limited seating. I couldn't believe how many men were sitting comfortably while several  ladies were standing, some of them had their children with them. A very outspoken woman, said, "Hey, gentlemen, do any of you see something wrong with this picture?" I could tell from their expressions that they had no idea what she was talking about.  Then she said, "Are any of you gentlemen going to offer a lady your seat?" Some of them looked a little shame faced and offered their chairs to the women. Some of them acted like they didn't hear her.

            Honestly, I'd started thinking chivalry only existed in the pages of the romances I read and write. Then, one day my faith was restored. I was out to lunch with hubby and my son. We were leaving the restaurant, and since I was walking ahead of them, I open the door, and went through. My son looked at me like I had lost my mind. He said, "Whoa, mom. Major violation. You have two men with you. Your hands should never touch a door." It made me feel good that he actually does listen and have take some of my life lessons to heart. I guess chivalry is still alive and well. Too bad that I'm only seeing it in my household.

            What about all of you? Is it still alive and well all around you, or are you seeing less and less?


  1. My husband and sons are chivalrous most of the time, but in truth, I don't expect it very much any more. When I got to where I made as much money as the guy who was doing the same job, I cared less. It was something I gave up. I still think whoever is loaded down with children, etc. should get the empty seat, gender not withstanding. :-) Great post, Shawn.

  2. I'm lucky - my dh opens doors all the time. Love your son's reaction to you opening the door!

  3. Yes, it is dead! Men have no freaking manners nowadays! Even my husband. He refuses to remove his hat when he enters a building. Argh!

  4. A few years ago, my car broke down in the left turn lane of a pretty busy street and I was only like two blocks from home. I hate being stuck in a car, so when the light turned green, I got out and started pushing it through the light.

    At the time I was driving a Crysler LHS --a large sedan that had intermittent power steering.

    So, I made it through the light and around the corner and apparently started to go down a slight decline because the car picked up, rolling away out of my control. My response was to stand still and yank the steering wheel--aka as the Fred Flintstone school of driving.

    My car kept moving and I lost my shoes as I ran alongside it and jumped inside and finally remembered that I could actually stop it with the brake pedals. I pulled it to the side and am breathing a sigh of relief when a guy comes up and asks if I need any help. LOL. SO, for me chivalry wasn't dead, just late.

    As for doors,I get them opened a lot. And I've even seen men offer women seats on the MAX when going downtown Portland.

    I think as far as men not stopping for you when your car was broken down has more to do with the climate of false accusations more than lack of chivalry or maybe they didn't know how to fix the car. LOL. The last person I call is my husband when it comes to car troubles. I'm better at mechanical stuff than he is.

  5. I don't think of it as chivalry. I think of it as manners. It's not just men who either haven't been taught or failed to learn them.

  6. Good job on raising your son! :) I'm attempting to teach my son some good manners as well.